iShould
by MissRandomDancing
Summary: That kiss. It was all that kiss. Carly has no idea what to do about her dating best friends Sam and Freddie. Freddie has no idea what to do about dating Sam. And Sam? She has no idea any of this is happening. Rated T just in case. Creddie
1. Searching For Answers

**Hey iCarly lovers! So, my first 2 ventures into FanFiction writing were dismal failures, and resulted in 2 incomplete stories and a permanent writers block. Third time lucky I hope! Over a long period of time, whenever I had the chance, I wrote another chapter to add to this story, and once it was done, I then started to upload the chapters. I know everyone else is possibly already doing this and I am just behind, but I have finally caught on to completing the story _before _publishing it! However, I want to see if anyone actually _likes _this story. So I will upload chapter one to hear people's thoughts. **

**So, there aren't many Creddie shippers out there at the moment, but I am one, and this whole story is dedicated to the people that think Carly and Freddie are just the best match ever! There is still hope for us, maybe...**

**This is set just after iOMG. It is all from Carly and Freddie's POV because I can't write for Sam very well.**

**Disclaimer: Dan Schneider, yes, the genius, made iCarly and all it's characters. Damn. **

**Love,**

**.. xxx**

**Chapter One: Searching For Answers**

**Carly's POV**

I collapsed on my bed, and stared at the roof. I'm not sure what answers a giant Gummy Bear chandelier and a slab of plaster will provide me with, but anywhere was good to look right now.

I have no idea what's wrong with me. So, Sam and Freddie kissed, again. What's the big deal? They are both my best friends, so there isn't an issue with them dating, if they want to. Is there? I've had my fair share of boyfriends, and this is Sam's turn. If it all makes sense just like I explained it, why does it feel so wrong? It's eating away at me. I am happy for them; I _should _be happy for them. Urgh. I don't know how to feel. What I _should _feel write now if crystal clear, but what I do feel right now, is something else entirely. Then, I heard someone bounding up the stairs.

"Hey Kiddo, what goes?" Spencer said to me from the door of my room. He had something behind his back.

"Cars, planes, most things that take petrol. What's that behind your back?"

"You wanna know? Guess." Spencer said, smiling broadly at me. I wasn't really in the mood to guess what wacky item he had found somewhere, but I did anyway.

"Is it, a motorised tuna fish that swims in creamed corn?" I said, kind of dryly.

"Better. It's, a spaghetti hat! It's just like a normal hat, but when your hungry you press this button, and out pops a bowl of spaghetti!" He exclaimed as he demonstrated the crazy hat.

"Great!" I said, "And how do you plan on eating the spaghetti while it's own your head?"

"I am Spencer Shay, _I _can do anything," he told me in reply. Even in my bad mood, I could still laugh at that.

"Right, whatever stops the tears," I told him, smiling. It's the first time I had genuinely smiled since _it _happened. The _it _that can't be named. As Spencer turned out of my room, I collapsed on the bed again. I'm not in the mood for anything. Not even for iCarly, which airs in 3 hours.

The worst part of the whole thing, is that neither of them have even told me they kissed yet! They haven't even hinted anything! Oh, I don't know. I'm probably overreacting. It was an innocent kiss. An innocent second kiss. An innocent 30 second long kiss. What am I talking about? Okay, so none of my questions are being answered here, so I went downstairs.

I sat on the couch, watching some crazy cartoon that I have no idea what it's called. Spencer was taking a shower, and drinking milk probably. Then, there was a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" I called carelessly.

"It's Freddie," Freddie yelled from the other side of the door.

"It's open," I replied. As he was by himself, I was determined to get him to confess about the kiss. They couldn't keep it secret from my any longer.

"Hey Carls," Freddie said, as he sat on the couch beside me.

"Hey Freddie. Look, you know how we promised to always tell each other everything?" I said straight up. Freddie looked as though he had just seen a ghost.

"Uh, yeah. Why?" he asked with caution.

"Well, do you have something you need to tell me?" I said, reasonably. Freddie's eyes widened.

"No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no." Freddie spoke quickly. "What gives you that idea?" I saw him sweat. I couldn't believe it. He just lied to my face!

"I think you do. When were you going to tell me about you and Sam kissing? Again? Or weren't you going to tell me at all?" I said, as I got up. I tried to speak evenly and calmly, but I was too angry.

"I'm so sorry Carly, but I don't know what it means and Sam doesn't know what it means. I was just really confused and-"

**Freddie's POV**

While trying to plead my case to Carly, I realised, how did she know about the kiss anyway? The courtyard was empty at the time, so I cut myself short while explaining.

"and, uh, how did you even know Carly?" I asked her. She looked even less happy now,.

"Because I saw you! I came to find the both of you, when I caught you kissing through the window!" She shot back at me.

"We were going to tell you Carly, when we knew what it meant." I said, trying to reason with her. She looked at me blankly.

"What do you mean 'what it meant'? It means she obviously likes you and you didn't pull away so you must have liked it!" Carly said forcefully, but not yelling.

"What boy wouldn't like it when a hot girl is kissing him?" I said back, instantly regretting the 'hot' part.

"Ha! You just admitted Sam is hot! Say you like Sam!" Carly pressed. I wish it was that easy, but I wasn't sure. I still like Carly, but I like Sam too, I think. But then I thought, Carly was so mad about this. She wasn't this mad last time, and she can't be this angry just because we didn't tell her as soon as it happened, even though we _should _have.

"Carly, why are you so mad about this?" I asked gently. Her face softened, as though she was searching for an answer to my question.

"For starters, you didn't tell me," she said inconclusively. Her voice trailed off as though she had something more to say, but she wasn't going to say it.

"Go on," I prompted her. Carly didn't say any more for a long pause, before finally breaking the silence.

"I don't know what else!" she exclaimed. "That's it," Carly finished softly. What? That made no sense! But then it all made sense.

"Carly, are you jealous? Of Sam and me kissing?" I said curiously. She looked shocked.

"What? No! No way! I would have just liked to know that you two liked each other a bit before this while thing happened so I wasn't so surprised," she said. What was weird, is she looked almost sad. Her massive brown eyes didn't sparkle like usual, they looked dull.

"Let's not fight again. I'm sorry," she said dismally.

"I agree. I'm sorry too for not telling you sooner, but I still don't know if I like Sam," I replied. "Are you okay Carly?" I asked to her saddening expression.

"I'm fine," she said, suddenly upbeat. "I believe we have a web show to do!" She clearly wasn't fine, but there was no way of getting the truth out of her right now.

"Sure," I told her, as I followed her up the stairs to the iCarly studio to wait for Sam.

**Carly's POV**

"I'm Carly, the brown haired one," I yelled happily into the camera.

"And I'm Sam, the blonde but definitely not dumb one," Sam added, almost aggressively.

"And this is the show that helps fight teen acne,"

"And sprinkles fairy dust on you when you sleep so you can tie a bow with your eyes shut!" Sam exclaimed excitedly.

"Not really. But you know what it's called Sam?"

"I think I do Carly,"

"THIS IS ICARLY!" the pair said loudly in unison, pointing to the iCarly graphic that appeared on the screen. I saw Freddie chuckle from behind the camera as Sam pressed the applause button on her remote. The studio erupted in claps from every angle.

"On tonight's show, we're going to try saying crazy sentences backwards!" I commented.

"And have the much anticipated egg fight!" Sam followed.

"If you're really lucky, we may just do some random dancing," I said, somewhat informatively. That was when Sam pressed the random dancing button and the lights and music started. "Looks like you lucky!" I yelled over the blaring music as Sam and I started dancing. As much as it may look like I was my usual energised self, I wasn't, and this normal 30 minute iCarly web cast may just be the longest one ever, while I searched for answers to seemingly unanswerable questions.

**Okay! The whole future of this story hinges on your reviews! Did you like it? Did you hate it? LET ME KNOW PLEEEEEASE! I'll upload the next chapter if this one gets good reviews. Thank you so muchly! :) **


	2. Author's Note

**Author's Note (Sorry if I got your hopes up!)**

**Bonjour FanFictioners! I am currently working on chapter two, called 'The Start of the End', but I just wanted to thank you all so much for your reviews, story alerts and overall feedback. I am so surprised anyone actually likes it! A massive shout out to all you heart warming people that read my story!**

**Copa-Phantom: Thank you so much! You don't know how much I appreciate it, really! :) xxx**

**Anon: I wish I could actually thank you, but I'll try it this way. Thank you for you kind comments, and I love hearing constructive criticism. I did know American's call it gas, but it totally slipped my mind! Thanks for pointing it out, as I am Australian, I tend to forget. :) xxx**

**xXbeautifullyshatteredXx: That's what I wanted to achieve! Writing it satisfies my own creddie cravings, so I'm glad it's not just me. Thank you so much for your review! P.S, I love your username :) xxxx **

**I will write up to chapter 5, then I will upload chapter 2. Thank you so much for your patience! I always make my busyness an excuse, and it's true, I am never standing still, but I am determined to properly finish this story. Please forgive me if I'm a little bit slow, I'm trying my best! Any more reviews that occur once I have published this Author's Note, I will shout out to in the next chapter. **

**Thanks once again. Your feedback was stunning! :) xxxx**


	3. The Start of the End

**Hi! I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack with chapter 2! Please feel free to review my story, but only positive or constructive criticism. I love knowing what people think of my stories, but if it's pointless flame, don't bother. I happily accept ideas for future chapters too! **

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Dan Schneider created iCarly, not moi, and he also created the characters in it. If I had created such a great show, I'd be busy making money and not writing this :) **

**Enjoy! Love,**

**.. xxx**

**Chapter 2: The Start Of The End**

**Freddie's POV**

It was the end of the show, so we all went downstairs. Sam made her usual bee line to the Shay's fridge.

"Gimme ham," she simply said. Carly followed her to the fridge and pulled out some iced tea.

"Iced tea for all?" she offered.

"Tea me up," I replied.

"Tea for me," Sam added. As Carly poured the Iced Tea into glasses for us, Spencer came out of his room.

"I watched the show. Pretty awesome! You guys don't know how funny you sounded trying to say 'flying purple people eater' backwards!" Spencer said, laughing as he spoke. It was pretty funny actually.

"Yeah. Your tongue was basically having a spazz in your mouth!" Sam said to Carly, as she handed me the Iced Tea. I nodded in agreeance as I took a sip. Carly, said nothing.

"Hey Freddie, could you please check tonight's ratings?" Carly finally spoke up. She still looked despondent.

"Sure," and I clicked around on the iCarly website to get the numbers. "Only 770,000 watched tonight," I said, a little disappointed by the numbers.

"That's less than last week," Carly said.

"And the week before," I continued.

"Well, it sounds like your viewers are sliiiiiiiidiiiiing," Spencer sing songed.

"We need more people to watch mumma!" Sam said, with her mouth full of some unidentifiable meat.

"I agree. How about we do what we did after the first episode?" I suggested. Carly nodded.

"Yeah, but this time we could change teams and get ideas from the iCarly viewers," she said.

"Well I'll go with Spence," Sam said immediately. I suppose that was kind of inevitable, considering what happened and everything.

"Okay, then I'll go with Freddie," Carly replied. "We can ask for ideas on next week's iCarly and do it then." Sam's phone then rang.

"Oh, it's my mum. I gotta go. See all you web stars tomorrow!" Sam said as she left the apartment.

"And I have to go grocery shopping!" Spencer piped up. Carly looked puzzled.

"At 8:30 at night?" Carly questioned, "Why?"

"To replace the salami that Sam just ate. And, get a refill for my spaghetti hat!" Spencer said as he raced for the door.

"Be sensible!" Carly called out after him.

"Maybe!" he yelled back. Then it was just Carly and I left in the apartment.

"Wanna watch a movie?" I suggested.

"Okay, which one?" She said.

"You choose," I said.

"Movie after, but first, when are you going to ask Sam out?" she teased. I didn't know, but I was still embarrassed. "Awh, little Fredward is blushing!" Carly added in a baby voice.

"I am not!" I said defensively.

"I'm sorry Freddie, but you are. Have you even spoken to her about the kiss yet?" Carly prodded. The truth was, I hadn't, and it seemed I was just going to procrastinate the problem away.

"Uh, well, I, um, no," I concluded.

"Well you have to talk to her! A kiss can't just go without being talked about!" Carly said, as though it was top urgency.

"It's not _that _important," I said quietly.

"Uh, yes it is! You two are going to talk, if it means me locking you both in a small room!" Carly insisted.

**Carly's POV **

It was as though I was two people in one. One half of me was driven on getting Sam and Freddie together, and the other half wanted to nip a potential romance in the bud. As to why? Nobody knows. I want, so badly to be happy for them, but I'm not.

"As I don't want to be locked in a small room with Sam, I'll talk to her," Freddie said to me. I only just heard him, as I was lost in my own frustrating thoughts.

"Good. Really soon?" I inquired

"Really soon," Freddie confirmed. We sat in silence for a moment, before we heard Mrs Benson from outside the apartment.

"Freeeeeeeeeeeedieeeeee! Honey! Time for your full body disinfectant!" Marissa chorused from the other side of the door. I couldn't help but grin slightly at Freddie's mom's ridiculous routines.

"Don't even laugh," Freddie scowled.

"I'm not laughing!" I said, in the surrender position. It was the truth, I wasn't laughing, yet.

"See you tomorrow Carly," Freddie smiled.

"You too Freddie," I said as he left. I _should _have not encouraged him. Now, I just feel worse.

I was woken in the morning for school by Cuttlefish blaring from my speakers. I rolled over sleepily and clicked snooze. I didn't want to get up for school. Not one bit. But I did. I chose an outfit from my cupboard and went downstairs.

"Hey Carls. Spaghetti for brekkie?" Spencer greeted me in the kitchen. He held a bowl of spaghetti out for me.

"No thanks Spencer. I'll just get a smoothie on the way to the bus stop," I said, shovelling my books into my bag.

"Okay kiddo. All the more for me! Have a good day," Spencer said as I went to leave.

"Maybe," I called back down the hall. I quickly glanced at my watch. Oh chizz! I was running really late. I skipped breakfast and sprinted for the bus. I got on just in time.

**Freddie's POV**

I paced around the lockers, waiting for Carly. I wondered if she was coming today, as she was usually at school way before now.

"Yo, Benson," Sam said as she went to her locker.

"Hey Puckett," I began. I had to talk to her. "So, uh, you wanna go out sometime?" I spluttered nervously. That wasn't as smooth as I'd hoped.

"Does it involve you?" She asked.

"Yes," I said simply.

"Does it involve food?"

"Potentially," I replied casually.

"I'm in," she said, as she removed a piping hot bowl of macaroni from her locker microwave. I wasn't sure that was a good thing. One, because I didn't even know if I liked Sam, and two, I was fairly certain she was dating the food, and not me. But it didn't matter. Only seconds after Sam said yes, Carly emerged from around the corner.

"Hey," she smiled. It wasn't much of a smile though. Kind of a half smile.

"Hey Carly. Me and the Fredster are going out," Sam put in, with her mouth full of food. She put her arm around me. It felt very awkward. Her initial facial expressions were positive, but it was only mask. Carly wasn't okay with Sam and I dating, but it only just showed.

"Wow! Congrats guys! It's great to see your finally getting along!" Carly exclaimed. She seemed happy for us. I _should _have been happy for us too. Instead, I felt odd. As though this relationship was ending before it had even started.

**There's chapter two! I hope you liked it! Remember, tell me what you think, so I can improve. Thanks :) **


	4. Alone on Planet Earth

**Chapter 3 is up! I know I said this is a Creddie story, but it doesn't really look like that yet. I promise you all, it is thoroughly Creddie inside and out, but I am a fan of longer stories. I like to write what's in the minds of the characters, it really distinguishes the story. So the first couple of chapters might be seemingly uneventful, but it's a slow build up, I promise!**

**Review, review, review! Some writers say they won't update until they get a certain amount of reviews. To me, that's fishing for compliments, so I will never do that, but I do absolutely value the feedback of others, so I urge you to tell me!**

**Disclaimer: iCarly is an excellent show, and I would love to take credit for it, but I would be lying. Dan Schneider gets the full credit, so, yeah...**

**Enjoy! Love,**

**.. xxx**

**Chapter 3: Alone On Planet Earth**

**Carly's POV**

Sam and Freddie are going out now. Okay. There is nothing weird about that at all. Right? Of course it's weird! Everyone seems to love it though. All the guys, even the ones he never speaks to, are fist bumping and hi-fiving Freddie as he walks past, as a sort of man to man congratulations. Sam is a lot less aggressive these days, earning her a lot more not enemies. I say friends, but I'm her only one of those. They'd only been going out for a month, but neither of them come around much any more. They're constantly with each other. They even missed last week's iCarly. Gibby was at his grandfather's place, so I filmed a cancellation message. They apologised, and I said it was fine. As per usual. I walked in the door of the apartment after a hard, and quite lonely day of school.

"Hey Carlaaaaay!" Spencer said to me, as he inserted some kind of chemical into the biggest lava lamp I had ever seen.

"Hey Spence," I said in reply.

"No Sam and Freddie again today? Don't you start rehearsal in an hour?" Spencer questioned. He never cared about being on time, as when he showed even the slightest bit of concern, it spoke volumes.

"That's plenty of time for them to get here," I said, trying to remain hopeful. "I'm sure they'll be here really soon." Spencer turned around.

"Sure. Glass of juice?" he offered.

"Nah thanks, I'm good. I'll be in the studio when Sam and Freddie arrive," I said as I went up the stairs. They would be here, they had to be.

I passed the hour preparing our costumes for the old women and the young gangster skit. I set each outfit in order of when you put the items on. I got Freddie's camera ready, and grabbed the 5 kilo bottle of ketchup for pouring into a paddle pool. I even blew the pool up. I got them both a bottle of juice, and sat on the beanbags to wait. I watched the clock. 5 minutes until the start of the show, and still no sign of either Sam or Freddie. With one minute before iCarly was due to air, and no cameraman or co-host, I picked up the camera and turned it on myself.

"And in 5,4,3,2," I said aloud.

"So, I'm Carly! I know you all expected a killer show tonight, complete with a ketchup paddle pool, but, uh, that won't be happening. I'm so sorry to you all, but I have to cancel iCarly again to night. I'm so sorry. Thanks, and remember, keep dancing randomly!" I said into the camera. I was currently letting 700,000 people down. I tried so hard to sound happy, but my smiles were grimaces, and I could feel it. They _should _have been here. Not only for the iCarly viewers, but for me. I waited in the studio, for hours. I watched a movie, but they never showed. It felt late, and I slowly drifted off to sleep, on the beanbags.

**Freddie's POV**

"...and then I was like, are you high?" Sam finished off her story. I felt myself really starting to like Sam. A lot. She was hot, funny, and reasonably intelligent if she bothered to try. I laughed at what she had just told me. Time passed to quickly with her. I glanced out the window of the Groovy Smoothie. It was dark. Already? We arrived here at 4:15!

"Hey, Sam, what's the time?" I asked. She got out her phone and pressed a couple of buttons.

"Almost 10:30, why?" She said, finishing her third smoothie. 10:30, 10:30. I repeated the time in my brain. I felt like I was forgetting something. Then it hit me. Oh, my, god.

"Sam! WE FORGOT ABOUT ICARLY!" I panicked. Sam's eye's widened to the size of Jupiter.

"Holy chizz mate!" she yelled. I ripped a 10 dollar bill from my pocket and left it on the table, and together, we sprinted for the apartment building. We got in the elevator, and Sam frantically pressed level 8 over and over again.

"Go you stupid thing, move!" She shouted, bashing the side of the elevator. It moved slowly, but as soon as it stopped on level 8, we bolted for 8C. Sam found the spare key and we let ourselves in, and raced up the stairs. I burst in to the iCarly studio first, to find Carly fast asleep on a beanbag. I scanned the room. She had everything set out and ready. I felt so bad. This was the second week in a row. No wonder our viewers were sliding! We crept back down the stairs.

"Dude, check if Carly put any videos on the website," Sam said. We both got on the Shay's desktop computer and check it out. The put up a cancellation video. She looked so sad as she spoke. Sam frowned.

"I'll come around tomorrow. See you then, Benson," she said.

"Sure Puckett," I said, before we kissed, for a long time. But it felt wrong, that we were kissing when Carly was upset. We did it anyway, and we both left the apartment, placing the spare key back under the mat and saying out goodbyes. I went home and clambered into bed. I needed sleep to even apologise tomorrow.

**Carly's POV**

I woke up the next day, with a crick in my neck and in the clothes I had worn yesterday. I felt terrible. I had a quick shower and had breakfast with Spencer.

"I saw they missed iCarly again," Spencer said gently over cereal.

"Yeah. They did," I said sadly. I cast my eyes downward.

"They'll come around kiddo. iCarly will be up and running like normal really soon," he tried to assure me. There's that really soon thing again. That was one of the last things I have said to Freddie in the past month. Not through lack of trying. I went over more than 4 times, I went to the Groovy Smoothie and even tried to find him at school, but whenever I needed either of my best friends lately, they were no where to be found. Mrs Benson had even started being nice to me. The last time I went around to find Freddie was out with Sam, she offered me a cup of tea and a spinach health biscuit.

"I hope so" I said getting up. I was running out of hope now.

"Well I'm going out. Socko and I are going to watch the baseball. Will you be okay?" he said, grabbing a coat and his keys.

"Yeah Spencer. Have a good time," I said. I watched him leave. I collapsed on the couch, and stared at the roof again. Still, nothing was helping me. There was a knock at the door. I got up and looked through the peep hole. It was Freddie. I let him in.

"Hey Freddie," I said, as upbeat I could manage. It didn't come out like I wanted it to. It came out sounding just like I felt, sad and lonely.

"Hey Carly. Look I am so sorry for missing iCarly. I feel so bad. Sam and I just lost track of time and-" Freddie launched into a spiel, but I cut him short.

"It's okay Freddie, really," I said understandingly.

"Actually, it's not okay. I am so sorry," Freddie said desperately. At that moment, something ignited inside me. I was all of a sudden, furious. And I let it all out.

"You're right. It's not okay! You missed iCarly not once, but twice! Without even an explanation!" I said angrily.

"Yeah Carly I know I-"

"And I haven't spoken properly to you in weeks, because you are always somewhere where I am not. You don't even tell me where your going!"

"Let me explain Carly-"

"This is the first time you have come around in ages, and that Science project we had to do together, I did it all myself because you weren't there!"

"I'm sorry I-"

"And I have a list of 20 iCarly viewer ideas to get more people watching and you haven't heard any of them because you haven't even thought about the viewer competition! I bet you forgot all about it!"

"I didn't forget, I just-"

"You know what else you have forgotten? You've forgotten iCarly! You've forgotten about your mom, who is always wondering where you are because you haven't told her your dating Sam yet. You have forgotten about Gibby and all of the AV Club. You have missed all their meetings! And, last and probably least, you've forgotten about me. One of your best friends, and you don't even spare me a thought these days until it's too late,"

**Oooooh! Cliffhanger! I hate doing this to people, but I want to keep it interesting! Happy FanFic-ing all! :) **


	5. The Long Road Back To Normal

**I'm back with chapter 4! I hope you all like where this story's going, and I also hope you are on the edge of your seats waiting to know what happens! I doubt this very much, I gave a cliffhanger my best shot.**

**Disclaimer: iCarly is not my genius creation, it was Dan Schneider's. In the mean time, I will just try to do his characters justice. **

**I hope you like it! Love,**

**.. xxx**

**Chapter 4: The Long Road Back To Normal**

**Carly's POV**

I said it all. All of it. Every last bit. All the anger that had been boiling up inside me for so long. Freddie stood there, saying nothing, probably because he was afraid I would cut him off again. There was a pregnant pause in the room, until Freddie broke the silence.

"Carly, I know that you're angry. You have every right to be angry at me. I just want you to know that I am so, so sorry for everything. I don't know how I can make it up to you, but I can promise, Sam and I will never miss another iCarly again. We seriously let you down. I'm sorry," Freddie said with evident guilt. I felt so much better for getting it all out there in the open, I was already ready to forgive.

"Awh, come here," I said to him smiling. I embraced him in a hug. It was funny how at home I felt in his arms. I quickly shook that thought right out of my head. "It's alright, I just, had to get all of that out," I said as we released.

"I promise Carly, I will never forget about you again," Freddie said, staring right into me eyes. He had beautiful eyes. Anyway.

"That's fine, we can just do iCarly tonight!" I said, excited at the thought. Freddie frowned.

"I love to Carly, but Sam and I are going to the movies tonight," I tried not to be disappointed. They had already made these plans.

"Uh okay, can we film it uh, Monday next week?" I said. Freddie could come here after AV club meeting.

"Well, I would, but Sam's mom is taking us to Bacon Kingdom," Freddie said, his face downcast. I swallowed. I wasn't going to cry. Not here anyway.

"Alright then. That's fine. Let me know if you have any spare time to do 2 episodes next week. Even if we film it after school and I'll put it to air or something. Just, yeah, let me know," I sounded sad, but Freddie didn't pick up on it.

"You're such a good friend Carly, thanks so much!" he said, "I'm going to the supermarket with mom now, so bye!" And with that, he left the apartment.

I sat on the couch and flipped through the channels. Nothing on. Spencer was away. Freddie was shopping. I called Sam.

"Hey, Sam?"

"Carly! How goes it?"

"Yeah, bored. Can you come around?"

"Sorry Carls, mom's taking me and her new florist boyfriend to an all you can eat buffet."

"Oh, okay then. Have a good time then."

"Bye!"

Now Sam was gone too. Why was it a couple of weeks ago, life was perfect? Now, I was lonely and sad. I was on the long road back to normal, but it wasn't going to end any time soon.

**Freddie's POV**

I followed mom and the shopping trolley around the supermarket, but I wasn't paying any attention to the things mom wanted me to get off the shelves. I have seriously neglected Carly. She has had no one for the past month, and I wasn't even with her now. It killed me to see her so sad, but I couldn't abandon my plans with Sam. I was so lost in my thoughts, that mom was yelling at me from the deli.

"FREDWARD BENSON!" Mom yelled.

"Coming mom, sorry."

"What's up with you lately? You're never home, and when you are, you don't even listen to me. Is there something you're not telling me?" I momentarily panicked.

"No mom, I would never keep anything from you." I said.

"Good. Now, we need some muesli,"

I sighed. I needed to tell mom, and soon. Then, my phone rang. The caller ID flashed "Sam 3"

"I'll be back mom," I said, dashing into the bakery.

"Hey beautiful," I said.

"Hey handsome," Sam replied.

"Just checking we're still on for tonight?" Sam asked.

"Sure, which movie are we going to see?"

"The curse of the meatballs, definitely."

"Okay, love you."

"Love you too baby, bye," and we clicked off.

I reported straight back to mom. I wasn't going to risk her thinking I was up to anything suspicious.

**Carly's POV**

I spent what seemed like hours walking aimlessly around the apartment. Nothing could capture my interest. My mind just kept flashing back to the kiss, the missed iCarly episodes and Freddie. Freddie. Freddie that was one of my best friends. Freddie that had liked me forever, and finally moved on. I missed the Freddie train, and I just had to deal with it.

Spencer walked it with a massive foam hand on his real one. He came in grinning from ear to ear. but it quickly dropped seeing me standing alone in the middle of the living room.

"Yo Carls, we should get a movie out and some pizza. What do you say?" Spencer asked. Pizza and a movie with my brother. At the moment, nothing sounded better.

"Sure, I'll come and choose the movie." I replied. This was just what I needed.

**Freddie's POV**

Sam arrived at the movies, late. It wasn't surprising, but it was starting to annoy me more. We ran into the theatre, just in time to see the start. I sat, focused on the screen. I looked to Sam who was stuffing her face with popcorn. Should I pull a move? I put my arm around her. She didn't flinch. Any other time I had my arm around a girl I would be ecstatic, but it was Sam, and everything felt so, wrong. Just wrong. The lead actress in _Curse of the Meatballs _looked a lot like Carly, or was that just me?

"Sam, does that look like Carly to you?"

"No. Why?"

"Never mind."

**Sorry it's so short! I have to find my track again and I will try and write more chapters. Remember, read and review! (only if you want to) :) xxxxxx**


	6. Can You Be Even Remotely Serious?

**So, it's school holiday time down under! Which, for me, is a whole lot more time to write! To tell you the truth, I haven't written for ages, so the track I was following, I have completely forgotten. I have no idea where this story is heading, but I will make up the best possible ending. Through all of it, I have never lost sight of the fact this is a Creddie story, down to the bone. So, tell your fanfic friends, spread the word, and hopefully, this story will turn out very well :)**

**Love, .. xxxx**

**Chapter 5: Can You Be Even Remotely Serious?**

**Carly's POV**

I packed my things for school, masking myself with a cheery disposition. I told Spencer everything that's happened last night, and he is the only one who knows the smile is false.

"Cheer up kiddo, at least just a bit," Spencer told me, as he served my breakfast. On the plate, were two poached eggs as eyes and a curved strip of bacon as the mouth. I had only had this breakfast a handful of times. Spencer reserved it for when take out and a movie didn't fix the problem, and it never failed to make me smile.

"Thanks Spence," I said with laughter, legitimate this time. I finished the meal, and bid goodbye to Spencer, and left.

I opted to walk to school today as opposed to taking the bus. I had the time, and I needed to organise my thoughts alone. My friends weren't spending as much time with me as they used to, and iCarly viewers were on the decrease, but it was making me permanently depressed. Why am I so sad? I knew there was another reason I was like this, but as to what, I couldn't put my finger on. When I finally reached school, I walked straight to my locker. Sam and Freddie were pressed up against the lockers, full on making out. I didn't know whether to be pleased or repulsed, but I was going with repulsed. I cautiously spoke up.

"Uh, hey guys," I stuttered quietly. It was enough to break them up. I was relieved I didn't have to repeat myself.

"Hey Carls," Sam said, in a way that I couldn't detect whether it was a careless attempt at manners, or a casual greeting. I felt like I didn't even know Sam any more.

"Morning Carly," Freddie smiled. I smiled right back, he was certainly sincere. This gave me more courage to continue.

"So, I thought we should have an iCarly planning session this afternoon. We could create some skits and work on our viewer enticing plans and I could -" I stopped myself short. Freddie and Sam were back at it again.

"You know what, never mind." I said to myself. I got my things out of my locker, and left for class, feeling worse than ever.

**Freddie's POV**

Sam and I continued kissing until the bell went, and it wasn't until then we realised Carly was no where to be seen.

"Where did Carly go?" Sam asked as she produced a packet of tacos from her locker.

"Probably to class," I said, gathering a pile of my books. Sam didn't get any books, as per usual. She linked onto my arm as we walked to class, although it was clear Sam didn't have a clue what we had. We had Society and History, one of my favourite subjects. We had a teacher named Mr Cooke, who was new to the school, but possibly one of the best teachers I have ever had. Sam and I walked in and sat down in silence. I noticed Carly, who was sitting with here usual spot, with her head looking down and her hair masking her face. She looked very sad. Mr Cooke interrupted my thoughts.

"Today class, we are going to take a break from non-stop study. Today, I want you to answer the question, what is love. Love plays a prominent part in society and in our culture, and in order to understand it's role, we need to define it. Write two pages about what love is to you. Not a dictionary definition, but what first springs to mind when you think of love. Also, not the kind of love you have for your new lip gloss or video game, but the kind you have for other people."

I couldn't help but think, wow. What a concept. I had never really thought about what love actually was before, which was quite concerning, as I was dating Sam.

"Something else I must mention is I want you to write your most heartfelt, intimate thoughts. I can 100% guarantee that I will be the only person reading your work. No fellow teachers, members of my family, no other peers, just me, and I will store these under lock and key. Remember, there is no right or wrong answer, it is just your thoughts, so be honest. Off you go."

**Carly's POV**

It took me little time to decide what I was going to write. I knew what I thought love was, and I wasn't afraid to share it with Mr Cooke. My page looked like this:

_Love is that undeniable connection you make with another though the eyes._

_Love is giving unconditionally to someone else, excepting nothing in return._

_Love is completely devoting yourself to another._

_Love is thinking that person is absolutely beautiful._

_Love is finding the good in all their flaws._

_Love is being able to see through their eyes._

_Love is that tingling feeling, when you see them from across the room._

_Love is turning to look at them, and their already looking at you._

_Love is conscious, unconscious, or subconscious._

_Love is feeling as though you want to vomit, but in the best possible way._

_Love is sticking by their side through thick and thin._

_Love is ever faithful and ever grateful._

_Love is being their for them, even when they think they don't need you._

_Love is wanting to spend the rest of your life with them._

_Love is believing you couldn't be happy without them._

_Love is finding the other half that completes you._

_Love is a constant search, that leads in all directions._

_Love is the little things that go unsaid._

_Love is drawing a heart around their picture._

_Love is living like it's our final day alive._

_Love is the passion, that ignites inside you like a spark._

_Love is the person that makes your harmony a complete song._

_Love is the progression of a bond that becomes so strong, it's unbreakable._

_Love is the endless need to have them near you._

_Love is believing there could never be anybody else._

_Love is beautiful._

I still felt as though I had missed something in the concept of love, as though I wasn't fully on top of it. I thought in the silence of the classroom, for 15 minutes, of what I could add to the piece. I looked to Freddie, who was looking at his paper, completely focused on his work, and I felt a tingle. That's when I realised it, what I'd been missing. I suddenly felt sick to the stomach. My hand shot up in the air, without hesitation.

"Mr Cooke? May I please be excused to the Nurse's Office? I feel very ill." I said aloud, my voice filled with urgency.

"Yes Carly. I hope you feel better." He replied as he dismissed me. In my rush to exit what to me feels like a very hot classroom, I almost forgot to hand in the piece of writing. I hastily made my way to the nurses office.

"Carly! You're as white as a sheet!" Ms Darcy, the nurse exclaimed upon my enterance.

"I need to go home," I managed, clutching my stomach. "I feel like I am going to vomit." Ms Darcy frowned with concern.

"What's Spencer's number dear?"

**Freddie's POV**

I saw Carly leave the room in a blur. She left so quickly. It was an absurd thing, because I turned around to look at her, only to watch her face turn pale, very suddenly. I wondered what was wrong with her, especially as Society and History was one of her favourite subjects. In no time at all, Ms Cooke dismissed us, and Sam's usual disposition had vanished into an almost silent one.

"What's wrong, baby?" I said, putting my arm around her waist.

"We can't keep doing this Freddie, dating like we are. Do we even really love each other?" Sam said sincerely, although she found it hard to keep eye contact. She had a point. I had been thinking about that during Mr Cooke's class before, and I had come to a conclusion I didn't want to face; I didn't even know.

"I, uh, don't know." I said, staring at the ground.

"Well, if we both don't know, it's not much of a relationship is it?" Sam replied. Sam was the kind of person I never really thought would care about love, but we all did, it just hadn't occurred to me.

"I guess not," I said, struggling to find other words.

"Well Benson, let's just be friends." Sam said, extending her hand.

"Sounds like a plan." I said, and I shook it in return. After dating for a month, it was over, and I _should _feel sad, but I didn't. Not even in the slightest.

**Carly's POV**

Spencer came and got me from school, and took me home with only a few questions. I went to lay down, only to be back to where I was a month ago; staring at a slab of plaster, searching for more answers. It was that piece of writing that had finally opened my eyes to why I had been so down lately.

I was in love with Freddie Benson, and he was dating my best friend.

Can I even be remotely serious? Freddie has loved me since the 1st grade, and _now _I decide I love him. Maybe I have all along? I shook that thought from my head. I was just going to have to push this aside. I could never date Freddie. He doesn't even like me any more anyway! He's moved on, as anyone else would.

It's just too little too late.

I still felt ill, trying to process the news. My brain was coping okay, but my stomach on the other hand, was having a meltdown. Why now? Why him? Maybe just why? Urgh. I hated myself, for falling in love with my best friends boyfriend. I hated Freddie, for being that adorable I couldn't help but fall in love with him, and I hated my brain, for not just pushing this all to the side and forgetting about it. Would I even be able to look at him the same way? I thumped my head on the pillow. I was a mess.

"Carly! Freddie's at the door for you!" Spencer called up the stairs. Had school finished already? Oh no. Now I had to talk to him! I _should _be calm, yet, I'm freaking out, trying to make myself look good in his presence and doing things I never would have done before today. I came down the stairs, feeling sick. I saw Freddie, looking gorgeous, and I tried to avoid all eye contact. This was never going to be easy.

**There! Like how's it playing out? Have suggestions to make it better? Tell me! And please bare with me, I am very committed to this story, so read and review, or failing that, just try to enjoy it :) **


End file.
